Well I finally finished The Lost Symbol..... serves me right, its not as if I didn't know what I was letting myself in for. I'm practically speechless at the absolute nothingness of the whole thing. 700 pages of appallingly written smoke and mirrors in which the poor reader gets led along until - to late - he or she realises they are being drawn into a black void up Dan Brown's metaphorical arsehole.
Is this Dan Brown's secret? Has he tapped into the zietgiest of modern culture - a load of flatulent gloss and spin signifying absolutely nothing? Raid some basic texts about the Masons and Washington architecture, throw in a few science papers, surf around for a good dose of fanciful religeous naval-gazing, paste it all together and then make sure it it takes up about 350 pages of your 700 page dirge spouted by your cardboard-cutout characters. Is that all it takes? Hey, I'm in! Downloading Wikipedia even as I speak! Classic thriller on the symbols, metaphors and spiritual connetations of the X-Factor coming up!
In about three days I think I may be able to take my thumb out of my mouth, extracticate myself from the feotal position and form basic vocal intonations again. Is Dan Brown's next novel going to be a desperate race against time while Robert 'the chuckler' Langdon attempts to decipher the ancient symbols that will prove that Dan Brown is the Antichrist? Let us hope and pray.
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